Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label regrets

Total Pageviews

Unusual lessons from college

“I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here, relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does...” ―  Tom Petty I landed up in a course that I cursorily ticked on my college application. So finding B.A. (Hons) Business Economics (BBE) was pure destiny. Keeping this serendipity in perspective, I was so sure that this course would provide me the exact path I should be on. It somewhat did, but if I were to correctly say it, I'd say my journey gave me the answer where I wanted to be, and more importantly what I wanted to be. My college offered me a plethora of opportunities that were nothing short of wonderful; which le

Life only moves forward

I was sorry that I was different. He said he loved me, but he didn't know how. Maybe he tried his best. He demanded I fight his demons for him because he failed. I tricked myself into believing they were my demons. He left and I didn't say anything. I felt like I was kind. No one bought it. The ground beneath my feet began to shift violently. Doubt began to seep. I stopped believing I was smart. The days became long. I took every relationship that had shown me unconditional love and smashed it into pieces. There was a relief though, there was nothing left to screw up. I was finally alone. I let myself cry. I stopped struggling. Everything turned very still. I thought I'd die, but my heart kept beating. It didn't care about what I thought. My heart stopped apologizing. It became quiet. I was still breathing. If I fell, I knew that I could get up. It was hard at first. I stopped fretting and started exploring. I practiced falling. I was always stuck at a question; You ca

Miss you

There are infinite ways I can miss you, maybe the list is short but my reason is huge. Or maybe I've got a trillion lists of tiny reasons but both are the same dull ache. Perhaps I do have both. My little list no longer makes sense, just like it simply no longer exists. My longer list is not meaningless, it's all about him. I miss those things that he used to say. I miss the songs that he would play in his car. I miss the way he was excited about meeting me even after we met just a few days back. I miss how he loved me every time he looked at me. I miss his geekiness about movies and shows. He was a lost cause, but I miss him. I loved the way he chased passion. I miss the way he loved adventure and made our days a ride of a roller coaster.  Mostly, though, I miss things that haven't happened yet. You can't actually miss them because you never knew your life with them in it, but you can't help but think about how great it would have been. I miss things like this on b

It's a matter of timing

"This friendship and love are too fictional, People just keep trying to make them real. It doesn't work." The idea of love is drilled into our minds, through every fictional movie and tv shows we watch, through every romantic novel we read, through every picture made to look like love. I did not develop love correctly, perhaps, everything felt tough, bleak, dramatic, volatile and bad. And every stable relationship of commitment and stability around me made me uneasy. Generally, I believe the need to feel affection, chills and thrill of a relationship is valid and a winnable need, What's tragic is that it's often dismissed. If you've never been in love or in a relationship, I'd hate to be the one breaking it to you but MAGIC FADES. It's a matter of time. But that's where you discover what's real and what's not. No matter how good or bad it'll be for you, with time you'll realize your partner will be a mix of qualities a

Grow into your Goals.

I don't have dreams, I have goals.  - Harvey Specter  GOALS? Why are goals so important? Why does everyone keep talking about goals? Well, Goals help me proudly say- "I know where I am going" Are you the kind of person who likes to drift along and see what happens? OR Do you have a goal which is something you would like to happen in your life and are working towards it? Setting goals is the most significant step and is quite difficult sometimes. But, believing you can accomplish the goal you have set may actually be the hardest part. So I do this thing called "living the result" or "internalising the goal" before you have achieved it. And I do think it plays an important role in motivating you constantly to work towards your goal. Your imagination is what makes the journey towards the goal so beautiful. The Goal should be clear in your mind, not a half hearted wish. You must have belief in yourself and your ability to achiev

Ghosts and Animals of my past

 Too Much Trouble - Ruskin bond A book review ( with an interpretation )   This book is a perfect children's book, it is funny, it has morals that lighten up your heart. Throughout the book, I was constantly smiling because it reminded me how I loved such stories during my childhood. But being a 19-year-old I have a very different interpretation of this book:  "We eventually start adjusting to circumstances" In the book, the young narrator and his family start adjusting with some troublesome guests- Elusive python, A naughty monkey, And even a mischievous ghost. It is funny how a children's book can answer your problems when no one can, over-thinker by nature, I'm always tempted to look back into my past and be bothered by it. Now, my interpretation is that we all have something in the past that keeps bothering us in our present- the lost battles, the heartbreaks, failures, regrets etc.. The small ones are the animals while the bigger on