Life feels full of almosts.
Almost made it,
almost said it,
almost had it.
I still recall the roads not traveled, chances overlooked, love that slipped away, dreams on the brink of realization but ultimately lost, and the unspoken words that lingered in my mind. It's haunting how these 'what ifs' linger, refusing to fade with time.
One 'almost' still lingers - the one I convinced myself was the turning point. I recall the anxious anticipation, the deafening wait, and the crushing stillness that followed. And then there's the person I nearly let in. I remember rehearsing those vulnerable words, only to let fear silence me.
My 'almosts' are woven into everyday moments too - the days I nearly gave up but found the strength to keep going, the nights I yearned for connection but stayed quiet, the people I kept at a distance for fear of vulnerability. They're in the opportunities I let slip away, the books left unread, the unexpressed emotions, and the hobbies I deemed unworthy. They're in the journeys I hesitated to take and the voices I almost silenced. Every hesitation, every doubt, and every held-back moment is a reminder of the 'almosts' that shape my life.
Yet, not all 'almosts' are tinged with regret. Some are hidden blessings. The heartbreaks that nearly shattered me but forged resilience. The toxic ties I almost held on to but wisely let go. The dreams I almost clung to but released for something greater. The mistakes I narrowly avoided. The brushes with mortality. The times I almost lost hope, but found a way forward. And the friendships I almost lost but chose to nurture instead.
The word 'almost' is a paradox, carrying both regret and relief. It's a double-edged sword, symbolizing loss and self-preservation. It leaves me pondering what could've been - if only I'd pushed harder, been braver, or silenced my doubts. Yet, sometimes I see 'almosts' as growth opportunities, life's way of teaching me valuable lessons. Other times, they feel like unresolved stories, chapters that will forever remain untold, leaving me yearning for closure.
My 'almosts' remind me that I took a chance, that I cared enough to risk failure, and that I dared to hope despite uncertainty. They're not failures, but testaments to my willingness to pursue what matters, to be vulnerable, and to dream. They've shaped me, broadened my perspective, and slowed me down. And most importantly, they remind me that the door is still open for another chance, another attempt, and another moment to turn 'almost' into something more.
Almosts aren't finales, but opportunities to learn, reassess, and retry. I'll carry them with me, not as regrets, but as reminders of the courage to care, dream, and act. And next time, I won't let fear hold me back - I'll take the step, speak my truth, and leap into the unknown, embracing the uncertainty.
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